"Diploma being placed in my hand, am I ready to face the world in which I stand?"
What does come after college? Grad school? Marriage? Babies? A full time job? A big black gaping hole??
Sometimes I see a cliff overlooking darkness. Other times I don't know what I see... or if i see anything at all. I just spent two decades of my life earning this degree and now I'm not sure where I'm headed. I'm not getting married. Psh, I don't even have a boyfriend. I'm definitely not financially independent. And going back to school wasn't part of my plan. I wanted to work on my music, record a cd and maybe even become famous! What I got instead was to move back in with my parents, indefinitely, (I love them TONS but I gotta say it's def an adjustment after spending three years on my own at college) and the realization that going to grad school would have probably been a lot less scary than figuring out what to do with my life. As a nineteen year old college graduate, you'd think I'd be well set on my way to having a successful career.
Of course, along with my twentieth birthday came the responsibility of bills and getting a "real job." After all I was a grown adult now, pros and cons. I found myself working at several places: as a choreographer for a small youth theatre company, a babysitter at my church, and the ballroom dance instructor at my old high school. My free time was quickly used up pursuing my passion for dance, and slowly I stopped writing as consistently, set down my guitar, till eventually almost all my spare time was being spent with our local CSU's competitive ballroom team, which I joined this semester.
The scariest thing is that I was way more sure of where I was headed before I graduated, and now my entire world has flipped! God blessed me with so many new friends, the opportunity to take dance again, and be with my family. It seems the happier I am, the less dependent I am on songwriting. I don't need to express my sadness in lyrical genius anymore, I can just dance and love everyone around me. And as scary as the future might be, I know it'll be okay cause I got God and my family here with me.
"For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord, "plans for good and not for evil to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11
