"Dreams! He will show you dreams that have yet to be unraveled."
During these past two months, I've grown leaps and bounds in my relationship with Christ. From dancing in the rain, singing for hours on end, and drawing and coloring; I've come to understand so much more what it means to rest in God's embrace. Every day, I grow a little stronger and gain a little more patience, and every week something new occurs trying its hardest to bring me down.
Monday hit me like a tidal wave. I was enjoying the sunniest most joyful day I've had in months, when discouragement reared it's ugly head, again. It left me shaking and in tears, and with a tremendous craving for vanilla ice cream. But having listened to Candace Cameron Bure's book "Reshaping It All" over the weekend, I knew food was the wrong choice. Because food, even friends, are not where we should find our refuge. So I ran to God.
I put on my running shoes, my headphones, and ran. And for the next hour, I cried, I prayed, and then I listened. And He answered:
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." (Phil. 4:6-7)
So despite the pain and discouragement I was feeling, I chose to get on my knees and praise God for all knew to be true about Him. That He is good. He is faithful. And most importantly, that He loves me.
That night, I began a new prayer. I started by thanking Him, and I asked not only for His peace, but that He would teach me to be content no matter the surrounding circumstances (Phil. 4:11). I chose to fight back differently. I realized that my battle was not against the people around me, but against the lies the devil feeds us. I began coloring and coloring and coloring some more. Like a little kid, I hung the Bible verses I drew on my closet door, colored in pencil, crayola marker, and crayons. And over the next few days, my whole perspective shifted. My heart found peace in areas of my life I had been struggling to release or understand. And there was so much joy in my heart. Like the doors to all my biggest dreams were being thrown wide open. And requests I believed were too much to ask of God were being offered to me!
In the audio book "Becoming Myself" I'm currently listening to, the author Stasi Eldredge mentions that when we allow God's love to overwhelm our fears, He replaces our fears with desire--those intrinsic desires that make us unique. In quieting my mind this week and focusing my eyes on God's truth. I've come to discover more of these desires and even see them become realities.
I've always wanted to paint! As a kid, I would spend my weekend mornings watching Bob Ross create beautiful landscapes. I never took a single art class, but God blessed me with the creativity and good enough cursive to make some pretty cool calligraphy, and it turns out I'm a decent painter when I try. I also loooove dance. Of course, I would love to be more trained and have had years and years of classes as a child, but for me, I dance because God blessed me with dancing feet and a passion for it. Never in a million years would I realistically think I could ask God for the opportunity to teach dance, and yet, here I was this week spending everyday of spring break in our school's day camp sharing my passion for dance with my students. My heart could not be any more content. As I step back and let God sit in the driver seat, it allows me to look out the window and enjoy the scenery around me. To see the leaves blowing in the wind, enjoy the flowers blossoming around me, and feel His presence in every moment of my life.
Discovering God is a beautiful thing because He is beautiful. But it is also beautiful, because in discovering Him, we discover who we are as well. As I let His peace and love drive away fear, my soul is satisfied and my being is filled with overflowing joy. My hope is to be so grounded in Christ that one day, I can say Psalms 31:25 describes the type of woman I am. Leading a fearless life. Living boldly. Laughing without fear of the future, because I know it rests in His hands.
Fight the lies with God's truth and always remember:
He is Good.
He is Faithful.
And He Loves You.