Wednesday, October 5, 2016

In the morning...

"In the morning when I rise, give me Jesus."

For the longest time, I've been struggling with getting up in the mornings for work.  It seemed no matter what I did, I was always rushing.  Recently at Bible study, we were asked to pick a Bible verse we wanted to claim over this new season.  I had totally forgotten to look for one so I quickly scrolled through my camera roll looking at all the special verses God had given me throughout the year. But inside I knew that those verses were verses for those seasons and God wanted to present me with something new.  My mind flashed back to that moment in worship earlier when I was talking with God scrambling for answers to everything. And like He's been reminding me over and over, He said, "I love you.  Is that not enough?"

I thumbed over the pages of my Bible with a short prayer, "I know this never works, but God could you just let me open to the verse you want me to have?"  Not wanting to end up in Psalms like every single time I've randomly opened the Bible before, I stopped over the New Testament and opened.  Immediately, my eyes were drawn to one section, the verse wasn't underlined but it might as well have been, I could see the pen sneaking through from the other side:

Philip said to him, "Lord, show us the Father, and that will be enough for us."  John 14:8

I love you. I love you. I love you.  I guess you could say I'm pretty stubborn and sometimes I don't really listen, because this is all He's really been answering lately.   Of course, there's a lot going on and of course, it's just natural to want the solutions just handed down to us, but that's not what He wants. He wants me to understand that everything is irrelevant when I understand how much He truly loves me.  If He loves me, then nothing else really matters.

As I've been fighting a cold this past week, I've had a lot more time to just relax and listen.  I can't spend countless hours singing and playing guitar, dancing to the point of over-exhaustion, and I can't talk.  So I've been forced to spend my time reading, enjoying His presence, and just being still. And surprisingly despite the fact that I've had so much more time to let my mind roam around and wander, I've found myself to be less confused about life.  He loves me, which means that everything else will make sense in due time.

Maybe it's been all the extra sleep I've been getting lately, but as I learn about the importance and power of prayer and choose to be silent, it's been easier to wake up.  Rather than getting up and immediately checking out the news on fb, I've been choosing to open up my "First Five" devotional and then just sit in my bed, Bible open, waiting to hear what He's saying.  Overall, my whole days have felt lighter, less stressed, and more fulfilling.  I've even began trying to take walks around our school campus before having to clock in.  Yes, it does require waking up earlier, but to feel that cool, crisp autumn air filling my lungs and see the beautiful sunrise, I'd wake up whenever He asks me. Waking up doesn't feel quite so burdensome when waking up with Jesus. And the constant prayer I find myself saying as I circle our campus in the morning is, "In the morning, when I rise, give me Jesus..." cause there is nothing as beautiful as time spent with Him.